Keep moving forward
Tuesday, February 7, 2012
Been so tired recently... I could only move around because I force myself to keep going... I feel so lethargic on my legs and hands but thats fine coz I know I really gotta keep going until the holiday arrives. :)
Anyway I really hope I can find a work to do over the holiday. For all my life, I have never gone working during the holidays and I felt maybe this time round, I should break this cycle. No point staying at home all day enjoying life, lazing around. It is time to get out there and see more, it is time to experience working life. Even if it is just for 2 weeks, 3 weeks, 4 weeks... It doesn't matter because at least I can take something out of it and bring it along in my life. Also, I don't want to keep depending on my parents. I feel they have given me so much. I haven't return them much. I felt all I had done was to bring disappointment to them in my life. Especially my dad... I have one of the best father in my life. He may not be perfect but he is an awesome dad. He had done so much for me. I love my family. :)
I really want to thank God for what he has done in my life. When I thought to myself how much I hate art and how not creative I am. He brought me to somewhere where I needed to use my creativity. Somewhere where I need to do a lot of art and art appreciation. As time go by, I realized I do not hate art and in fact, I love it. Also, I realized I am creative and the only reason why I have not been able to tap into my creativity happens to be my self-denial of it's existence.
Had it not been for God, I would have hated my family. I always think of them as unloving people always showing bias towards my brother because he is so talented. But ever since I met God, he brought Love into my life. He show me what love is like and the many form of how it is express. I never realized how fortunate I am. Had I not met God, I would still be a rebellious person in my household. Had I not met God, I would have been such a bitter person. Had I not met God, I would have to go through the pain through my memory of my long gone grandfather alone, for I love him so much and he left so early in my life. Had I not met God, where would I be today? I would not imagine a person who had absolutely lost love and compassion and still finding his purpose in life. Because thats a really sad life to live.
